Column from a 1991 issue of These EXIT Times, back in the days of paper newsletters.

Les Talk

“Man-to-Man”

My personal message this issue is meant to be man-to-man, but I can’t stop you ladies from eavesdropping. That’s OK, you’ve probably heard what I’ve got to say... from each other.

Today I want to talk with you three-legged jokers about sex and responsibility. Just between you and me, are you still shuffling the responsibility for contraception off on your lover? Come on, be honest now. If you are, then this talk is mainly for you.

Men, I’ll give it to you straight, it’s time to stop paying lip-service to sexual equality... it’s time to stop just talking about women’s rights, and dare to put your balls where your mouth is.

It’s time to take our fair share of the responsibility for contraception. In fact, why shouldn’t we take all the responsibility for a change? Women have taken it for a long, long time. They’ve endured painful IUDs and side effects from the pill... abortions, miscarriages and, yes, even live births.

Most of us won’t even endure a layer of latex rolled over the business end of our private parts. Come on, men! Somebody’s getting screwed here, f’ cryin’ out loud.

If you’ve made your decision to be VHEMT, make the next moral choice and take responsibility for your sex life. As millions can testify, being sterile ends the muss and fuss of contraception for the rest of your life. Every day you put it off is another day of uncertainty for you and your partner.

Why not take the worry out of being close and give your woman friend the freedom that too many men have taken for granted all these years... the freedom from anxiety about starting someone for life.

Oh sure, men have had to fret about paternity suits that bleed them every month for about 18 years. Big deal. What’s money compared with the 24-hour-a-day responsibility of a dependent?

While we’re on the subject of money, let’s remember that a vasectomy could pay for itself the first time you use it. Those other methods are like, pay-as-you-go, y’know?

Speaking of paying... I can’t compare the pain involved in an abortion with the discomfort of getting my tubes tied... who’s to say which is worse? It’s just that one is final and the other is only a stop-gap solution. Tie the lover’s knot and you’ll never have to say you’re sorry.

Some of you might ask, “What if I change my mind in the future?” Well, then it could be too late. What if you knock someone up and then change your mind? (Sorry, ladies, but I warned you this was man talk.) It could be too late then, too. It’s a lot better to mistakenly not have children than to find out that having one was a mistake. You can squirrel away some of your precious bodily fluids if it would make you feel better, but, really now, isn’t it time you came to grips with this delusion? Of course it is.

We know there are times when a man must have the . . . er, guts to make decisions in life that set his personal future. The most important decision for men today is whether or not we accept responsibility for preventing pregnancy and the demise of planet Earth.

Common courtesy, finances, and altruism aside, there’s a selfish reason for shootin’ blanks... women appreciate it and they show it. When your lover knows you’re safe, she loses that uptight feeling of dread, she can make love with carefree abandon. And, as you too fully realize what it means to be relieved of that nagging fear of conception, your sexual experiences will become more uninhibited and spontaneous. The release of anxious tension is a freeing experience for both you and your partner.

When the fear of pregnancy is banished from your sex life, a whole exciting world of enjoyment will move in to take its place. I can’t tell you what it’s done for me.

But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself just how appreciative women can be. I must close for now, something just came up.

For a better world,
Les U. Knight